I am lost

I am lost and I have probably looked online for a million ways not to feeling lost  because the internet is suppose to be safe haven. First education is my identity mostly in high school and now I am in college and no clue what to do with my life  and it took me a long time to figure out what i want to major and now that I have there is resistance because it is not a practical career choice but I cannot picture myself being a lawyer and making lots of money ;although, I like the lots of money part I can’t picture myself being a lawyer or a doctor because hospitals terrify me. I like history it is something that I enjoy and it something I want to major in but I just don’t want  to be making a mistake that I could regret for the rest of my life and my mother would be right. 

How do I explain this to my parents.

The Wolverine

I just saw the wolverine and the movie was a total bore that is coming from someone who is a x-men fan. The story line was just plain I didn’t fall in love with it, but the actions scene were great and Hugh Jackman is my favorite actor and it tied into the next x-men movie greatly,but I wouldn’t spend 10 dollars to see it again.

can not wait to see X men day of futures past.

Lost Soul part 4

Summer vacation is suppose to exciting and so far for Lilly has accomplished getting her license she has two driving lesson. Lilly is so ready to start her life because she is tired of seeing her brother doing all the things she should of being when she came to this country she didn’t know what to expect,and for five years she did everything that was expected of her go to school and then come home and do her home work which was fine for her , but all that has been over for a while for now and summer has made her evaluate about herself and she doesn’t like what she see. Lilly needs more in her life and she is starting school in the Fall for her bachelor and there are things she wants to accomplish for herself which is learn how to drive but her mother is more fearful and everytime she tries to attempt obstacles keep rising in its wake and it is driving her to get dark thoughts but Lilly is scared to tell anyone.

The empty feeling

It is summer vacation right now and while it is suppose to be great it isn’t because I am alone and it has given me a lot of time to think and reflect on myself and when I look at myself I feel empty on the inside.

I know the reasons and I want to do something about it but I do not have the resources ,so it is making me depressed and now I am back to that empty lonely feeling.

Lost soul part 3

Lilly accomplish getting her learner’s permit and she finish community college and now she is going to university in the fall,but being home in the summer and being alone all the time has made her depressed and lonely and all she did was cry;she has been on Facebook seeing where her friends all living out their lives while she is at home,so she is trying to change that so she decided to try some work at home program but she was afraid but did it anyway because she needed to change her life so she did the program but her mother and brother found and world war 2 happen all over again and her brother gave me a lecture about doing this but her mother was angry how much she spent and Lilly wanted to give this a try ,so she decided to give this a try but her mother came down on her again and then brought up the license that her mom promise then Lilly gave it up because she didn’t want her mom to be mad at her ,and now Lilly feels like she made the biggest mistake of her life giving it up and somedays Lilly just wants it to be all over but she hasn’t done it yet because she doesn’t want to hurt her family.